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And that applies to dating as much as anything else. If she’s a decade older than you, that’s an extra decade to have explored what she wants in a relationship, set up her life so she’s surrounded by awesome people and doing a job she finds fulfilling, and also traveled the world/worked in twenty different states/lived in a foreign country/gone to Burning Man/learned to paraglide/experienced the whole pre-internet bar culture thing. Again, this comes down to knowing who you are and what you want, which is often very sexy indeed. She’ll have had an extra decade to collect awesome people with cultural awareness and political nous and war stories and interesting hobbies and creativity. Sex She’ll know what she’s doing, know what her kinks are, and you can have this whole sexy authority/objectification thing going on, if you're into that. This is proportionately much more likely if the person in question is older! So many of the excellent older queer ladies I know have dealt with their shit and are just unashamed and self-confident in all the best ways.

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