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There are no firm rules here, and a lot will depend on the reasons for the original family breakdown, and if there have been other stepparents in the child’s life.
Children, however, seem to like consistency—and that means whatever rules they’ve been living with before their stepparent showed up should be the same rules they keep having to follow.
Of course, this all depends on the strength of the relationship, the age of the child, and dozens of other factors.
In general, though, if the kid and the ex-partner were close, then parents should do what they can to make it easy for their child to stay connected.
Strangely, Hadfield found that very few of the people she interviewed talked about money as the main reason for having a live-in romantic partner. S., where mothers told Hadfield they sometimes didn’t invite their lovers to live with them and their children because it would do nothing but add one more mouth to feed.